Friday, 13 April 2018
I'd be a terrible medical guinea pig
I almost fainted at the doctor the other day.
I had some vaccination injections with the rest of the family for our holiday to Sri Lanka. I was the only one who cried. I don't know if it was the long build up and anticipation or just the needles on display before I was injected with a live virus but it clearly did for me! The mollycoddling by the doctor, my wife and my daughter that ensued was possibly even worse. But I did feel like I deserved at least a sticker if not a lollipop! I didn't get either.
All of this confirmed to me that I would make for a terrible human guinea pig for medical trials. Not only would I faint at the sight of a needle but I also wouldn't be able to provide any feedback as I'd be out cold.
I think medical trials should be reserved for celebrities like the Kardashians or Nicola Sturrrrgeon and the trials should be aired on TV in a big brother style scenario. They can slip new horse tranquilisers in their breakfast cereals and we can watch what happens. Or inject them with newly developed anticoagulants and then leave loads of kitchen knives around the big brother house. Makes total sense to me.
All I know is, rather them than me.