Monday, 23 November 2020

The World has lost its Smile

So now we're all wearing masks. 

My phone doesn't recognise me anymore and I can't tell if my neighbour is smiling at me or sneering. Probably the latter. The other day I'm sure the cashier at Waitrose mouthed "now be off with you, you homeless wanker". I could see it in her eyes but of course I couldn't prove it. 

Then there are those who don't understand how face masks work. They wear them under their nose or above their chin. This demographic is either born in America or over the age of 60 and male.


The mask has become a real fashion statement and a form of expression. 

There are the colourful, flowery hippies who love that they are able to express the fact that they are happy, vegan and undoubtedly wearing similarly colourful underwear. You also have the military style, doomsday preppers who generally wear black or camouflaged face masks with air vents. Then you have the simple, light blue, no nonsense medical face mask which says you don't care to express yourself through a pandemic inspired face covering and you think those who do are pretentious twats. 

This is the brave new world we now all live in. Undoubtedly an overreaction to the worldwide pandemic, but how can we risk infection? Until the vaccines are approved and everyone has been vaccinated the world will mask it up. 


One lasting legacy of the COVID pandemic will be the great face mask pollution that will haunt us for the next few years. If we can't be trusted with plastic straws and earbuds why would anyone think we can handle used face masks?!  

Many years from now we will find used face masks littering 300 year old ship wrecks at the bottom of the Atlantic and clogging up the air-conditioning vents on the international space station. It is a sad truth and another nasty byproduct of this horrible virus.


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