So now we're into this years second national lockdown, playing a game of chicken with a family Christmas. Across Europe similar restrictions and lockdowns are in place while across the pond Donald is shining a light inside the body and drinking bleach.
Back to lockdown life, except this time we don't have to pretend laugh at your friends having their hair cut by their wives and girlfriends, we don't have to pretend to like Joe Wanks and his morning workouts, we don't have to come up with new excuses for not joining Zoom calls with your overexcited "mates", keep having to think of new inventive ways of keeping your child entertained, or standing outside in pyjamas with our third bottle of red in hand, clapping for the NHS.
This time we're prepared. We have a plan. We are all experienced lockdowners. We are semi-professionals at this shit. We're going to nail this lockdown. Streamline our days. So then why the fuck is this second lockdown even more shite than the first one?!
Clearly the novelty has worn off. It's dark outside. Everyone's grumpy It seems we're all working harder and getting more stressed from home, we're all still doing the school run and we're all not allowed to see our family and friends or get shitfaced at the pub.
This year has been the one shitshow after another. So what will be the legacy of this year's unprecedented lockdown experience? I'll tell you what the legacy will be. The legacy will be 18 billions non-biodegradable face masks that will choke the planet to its knees.
Many year from now we will be talking about this with our children and our children's children. Our grandchildren will ask us what we did during the pandemic lockdowns. Did you learn a new language grandad? Did you write that book you always claimed you had in you? Did you use your time to do good? What will your answer be...?